Woah.

Yeah. So, I haven't totally forgotten about this blog. But, I have forgotten to post in it. The truth of the matter is. Well. No real good excuse. It's just that blogging is not a priority. Not something I think is a necessary part of my day. And, I don't have Internet at my apartment so I tend to just let this thing slide. But, since I last blogged, I passed the bar, got sworn in, became an aunt, and got a new job!

The reason I haven't blogged in so long is really because after taking the bar exam last summer, I decided to put up this huge new post about my "journey" to becoming a lawyer. Well, I started typing a draft on my computer and, before I knew it, the post was six pages, single spaced. Needless to say I had some reservations about putting that all online. I wasn't sure if I was ready to disclose all the nitty-gritty details of my life for the past several years. Maybe now I will go back and edit the post for public consumption. Maybe.

But the truth of the matter is that  I don't really feel the need anymore to "share" my troubles with the world through this blog. Maybe I'm growing up, maybe I'm becoming cautious. Who knows. But, I did go back and read some of my posts and I realized that maybe I don't need the world's shoulder to cry on, but the world might just need my perspective on things. So, I'm trying to approach this blogging thing from a more "what can I do for you" stand point rather than the rather scary image of an "online diary".

So, what does the world need my perspective on today. Here's a topic I've been mulling over lately. Fear. The word carries such a dark connotation that I think we all try to avoid fear at all costs. But, there are different types of fear. There is the innate, self-preservation, this person is trying to kill me, fear. That should be listened to and invoke action. But the other kind of fear strikes the same emotions but in situations where our lives are obviously not in danger. Why then, in those moments when we aren't going to die, do we let this fear that something horrible is going to happen dictate our lives? Myself, being a self-proclaimed perfectionist, shy away from these fearful situations as often as I can. Deep inside I know that my fear of being wrong or not knowing what I'm doing has kept me on a way too safe path for far too long. It's hard to deviate when you enjoy predictability, but there is a great excitement in being in a fearful place. At least that's what I'm trying to learn. Fear should be our motivator. Being scared of something should be the sign that we are not unable, but just unaware. My challenge is to break down that fear so that I can tackle it piece by piece rather than becoming consumed by it. My challenge is also to recognize that no one is going to kill me because I don't know how to do something perfectly the first time I try it.

That's what I've been trying to do lately. Oh, and eat more fruits. I've been trying to eat more fruits.